Stay at home Dad: The Recap

Jan 18, 2014 •

When Lindsey went back to work for the first time since Kaitlyn was born I took a week off to help manage the transition. I shared the daily challenges and experiences here:

Day One - Day Two - Day Three - Day Four - Day Five


First and foremost - I knew that what Lindsey did by staying at home when I went back to work in October was impressive, but having lived a small sample of that reality, I’m now even more impressed. There’s really no way to understand how draining it is to be completely responsible for the entirety of another person unless you’ve done it. While that responsibility at times can feel like an unbelievably heavy burden, I feel like it also comes with an immense sense of pride. And of course, there are moments of joy. I’ve never heard a sound as sweet as that of a baby cooing, babbling, and giggling and I’ve never seen something that can melt my heart faster than a coy smile that creeps up at the edges of my daughter’s face and then blooms into a wide toothless smile. But as great as those moments are I have to admit that there are as many, and maybe more, moments of frustration. My point is that its hard, very hard. If you’re a parent and it wasn’t hard for you… well you were either very lucky or you’re a better person than I am. Either way I’m happy for you, and please don’t judge me too harshly.

With that said I really enjoyed spending the week taking care of my daughter and I would be happy to do it again if Lindsey’s work situation required it. I think I would even be willing, if Lindsey wanted to and our financial situation could bear it, to be a “stay at home dad” full-time. I would definitely need to have time where I was “off” but I think it could be a lot of fun. I think I would also end up working on a lot of side-projects including writing more often. I’m not really very good at taking naps in the middle of the day - once I’m up I tend to want to stay up - so I think I would use the time when she naps to work on projects. Its possible that I would ultimately HAVE to take naps, but this is all very hypothetical and not very likely at this point.

Finally, if you’ve been following Lindsey’s blog or read what I wrote about the trauma she suffered after giving birth you know that I came very close to doing this on my own. While I’m still working through the emotions (mostly anger) about what happened I can’t help but be grateful every day that Lindsey is still with me. I wish I could say that I can’t imagine doing this without her, but one of the horrible things about sitting in the hospital when she was still in the ICU was that I was forced to deal with the possibility that she might not come home. I know that our combined families would have been there to support me - they’ve been amazingly helpful as it is - but I would not handle taking care of Kaitlyn full time even half as well as Lindsey does. I’m blessed with a beautiful daughter, a supportive family that is very involved in our lives, and a strong, beautiful wife who now puts up with taking care of two babies.